So i held my breath, 'till my soul left my body for dead.

I want love, I need love. I'm tired of people convincing me they like me only to kiss and ditch. I've decided that love, at the moment, means wanting to know me first. So fuck all the assholes.

On another note,

most thought-provoking song ever.

Wake me up when september ends?

Hello lovelies!

This will be the first of a bunch of posts with pictures and such I shouldve posted weeks ago. Well, this is the buffet my mum took me to two weekends ago. It was covered in elegant details and charming patterns, so of course I looked like the biggest tourist taking pictures of everything.

Gorgeous, right? Sorry for the terrible picture quality, once I take my new camera (more on that later) to a shop and get film it'll be much better. I'm planning on an Academy of Sciences post tonight or tomorrow morning, if all goes right.

tata for now!

Love, Stephanie.

trying, trying, trying, 'till my legs give out and I can't breathe.

I'm sorry, no pictures to post at the second. Or rather I should say, no pictures I can post at the second. I'm on the laptop at work so unfortunately, my extra long Academy of Sciences post will have to wait 'till tomorrow.

First, a recap of my week:

Monday, I had a dentist appointment at which I found out I have thirteen cavities and two possible root canals. Ouch. They stuck three (or four?) sharp, metal spears into my mouth and filled four cavities.

Tuesday, I was at MAZE day at my school from eight to around four working the booth for fashion club and just goofing around. Natalia and Jamie, president and vp of fashion club, who also happen to be my bestfriends, kept me company-sortof. Natalia was off cavorting with various people, Jamie was flirting (in her shy, '50s style way of flirting) with a certain J. Dahhluhvie, even guitar club Josh had his girlfriend there, and I, Stephanie, Girl With Incredibly Noticeable Red Hair Wearing Really Cute Clothes She Should Have Saved For School...blended in. Maybe I'm too hopeful, but I had thought I was past being ignored. That's why I put so much effort into how I look and talk and laugh and it doesn't get me anywhere. Well, it could get better when school starts, right?

Wednesday, MAZE again. Worse than the day before. No one spoke to me. I sat sullenly in a corner and resented myself for doing so. I was supposed to have had a doctor's appointment, for referrals, necessary immunization, blah blah, but my grandmother got sick and had to go to the hospital. Nonetheless, I have another appointment on wednesday, after school.

Thursday, first relaxing day I've had in awhile.

Friday, extra slow morning. Had my neighbours over to watch Up and eat stale sugar cookies. Then walked to the bottom of my hill to meet J., we walked to Vallejo Mills, sat on some bleachers aside from everyone else, and talked for awhile, with intermittent kisses. His grin is delightful. And he held me. It was nice. :)

Saturday (today), work from a couple hours ago until around five or six. Which means I'm missing the Niles Fleamarket D: but it's here tomorrow as well and I definitely plan on bringing at least $30 or $40 with me. I really, really, really want a blazer. So bad. And then of course there will be vintage jewelry galore, windchimes, and antiques along with snacks to be bought (or brought, if I remember) throughout the day.



Now, this upcoming week:

Sunday, Niles Fleamarket. I think I'll wear my white ruffle dress, floral tennisshoes, and my black fedora. I might also go to church, but I'm not sure if time will allow that. AND I NEED SCHOOL SUPPLIES. So that will probably fill sunday evening.

Monday, orthodontist in SF. Hate going to the dentists/orthodontist/whatever. Somehow, my teeth never hurt until after I go to them. I think I'll take the oppertunity to take pictures of the city for my desperate attempt to change P.E. to junior year and take photography. It's mainly up to the photography teacher, so I'd like to show her some pictures to convince her of what an asset I'd be to her class. Juniors and Seniors get priority though, so its unlikely ill get it changed. Either way, It's probably the last chance I'll get to spend the day in the city before school starts. If nothing else arises, I'll go visit Gio, who lives in something Heights, near Haight-Ashbury.

Tuesday, last day of summer. I plan on making a huge post about it.

Wednesday, first day of school. Can you say not excited?

That's really all I can think of. Sorry about overloading your brains with words.

Love, Steph.

Fashion Friday #1

 Glitter Oxfords.

Supposedly they have them at Forever 21, so I'm gonna go check that out ;D

I lost track of time, I carried my mind on a plate. I seasoned it well, with acid and MDMA.

So today, finally, I'm done getting up at 5:30 am. With any luck, the ability to sleep in will nest in the slumber section of my brain. I have to get fillings and such on Monday, alone, and tons of shots on Wednesday. That combined with my constant sickness will make it a very painful August for me.

I've recently been listening to music more, which makes me excited for concerts. Time Travel by Never Shout Never is lovely<3 I had a six month period where I was completely obsessed with their music, and it gradually died out. Now, I just miss them. http://www.nevershoutnever.com/splash/ Ninety-nine dollars for a 1 general admission ticket with early entry + access to pre-show sound check + 1 signed Never Shout Never poster + 1 digital pre-order of "Time Travel" + 1 commemoritive laminate VIP.

What do you guys think? Worth it?

Also, I'm going to add a section to my blog called Fashion Friday where I'll post a picture (or two or three) of an article of clothing that I really want to add to my closet. Ill have that up later today.

Love, Stephanie.

I Could Be by Cristina Perazone

My other neice, Cristina, wrote the original version of this and I embellished it;

Look in the mirror, and this is what I see;

All of the things, that I could be.

I could be singing and dancing,

Leaping and prancing, this is what I see.

I see a nurse, an artist, a writer,

I'd be a lawyer if i was a better liar.

I see an actress, a mailman, a teacher,

If I wanted to I could be a preacher.

Look in the mirror, and this is what I see;

All of the things, that I could be.

I could be drawing, carving, painting,

It's my future, so what's the use in waiting?

Pain by Giuliana Perazone

My neice, Giuli, who's twelve wrote this:

Heart in my throat,

About to choke,

Losing control,

Hand slipping,

Tightly gripping,

Onto hope.

No life,

Beyond this point,

Hold on tight,

Dont let go,

Ears ringing,

In the silence,

Head pounding,

Cold blood.

No love,

Only hate,

Voices surrounded me,

"No good",

"Too late",

"Missed your chance",

Letting go,

Slipping away,

Fading back,

Into darkness,

Holding on,

To what is lost,

Gone.

Far away,

Fighting to get back,

Trying to struggle,

Force is pulling,

Arms falling,

Blacking out,

Screamin, shouting,

Trying to hold on,

Then black,

Coldness,

No breath,

Nothing.

No light,

It's over,

It's gone,

You cry,

You weep,

You scream,

But he wont hear it.

CAN YOU SAY DEEEEEEEP? She has a whole bunch of poems, so Ill probably be posting more at some point.

love, stephaniethegreat.

stephanie shops.

Today, after work, my mere took me to get "pants". She made the mistake, however, of taking me into a store with TONS of floral.

Needless to say, i stocked up on a lot of basic, outfit forming pieces. Here is most of what I got today (the rest we're buying tomorrow, so we get a 10% discount):

 

romantic, light beige scarf; lace and crochet.

second one's blurry but, this scarf is actually really warm plus one side is honey colored and the other is olive

 

I lalalove this scarf, even though its my mom's college professor's birthday.

 

 Also, it has a lovely rose print.

 i got these flats,

(which have this cool emblem on them) in silver

 and teal.

This belt can go loosely over a plain tee paired with a flowy skirt for a casual look, or with white, rolled-up skinnies, a loose gray tank, and a blazer with a sharp, defined cut.

 I've been working alot more recently and i badly needed a wallet, so this came at a wonderful time.

Also, I acquired a desk and glass container not too long ago with this precise design (which i love).

 My mere wanted this belt so I humoured her. It's not really my style, but it hides shirt-tucked-in-to-skirt-bumps perfectly. Props, mom!

 Classic Vintage late '80s chained shoulder clutch

 with a whole bunch of

Anyways, I like it :)

I know you can barely see it; once i find an outfit to where it with (its a hair clip, by the way) ill take a picture of it in daylight.

I'm not quite sure what this is called, though I'm certain it has a name. Whatever, it looks absolutely darling with a bandeau (below) and a white lace skirt (below) with studded leggings (below), and white cowboy boots.

 These work great for loose tank tops, strapless dresses, extra low-cut or gaping necklines. There were a whole bunch of different styles and patterns and colours.

 It's too dark to really see but the skirt is an eggshell colour with off-white lace, the zipper down the front really does unzip the entire thing, and the strips of black with studs are actually pockets. I love when designers find ways to put in pockets without frumping up the clothing item. I have a sky blue dress with pockets like that, except they actually hold things (like my phone) and still look sleek. The enginuity of fashion designers never ceases to amaze me.

 High-waisted black lace retro shorts in a cotton-satin type material. Again with the hidden pockets...(:<

 This tank top is actually knit, so it keeps body heat in while looking classy with lace flowers and stripes.

and that's all I have time for at the moment so I'll get back to you guys.
love, stephaniethegreat.

loneliness is a disease

For the past two weeks, I've been getting up at 5:30 am to take bart out to Pleasanton in order to be at my sister's house by seven. See, my sister and her roommate have a lady from their church (they're Mormon) watching their collective five children, but she wasnt responsible or on top of things at all. So while they look for a daycare service, I agreed to babysit an elleven year old, two nine year olds, a six year old, and a three year old from 7:00 am to 7:00 pm. It's entirely exhuasting.

But thats not the worst part; I hardly see my mom or roommates or anyone I'm used to seeing multiple times a day. The kids arent very good company, my sister's at work all day, and my absolute best friend who lives in Dublin that I NEVERRR get to see isnt allowed to come over. I'm dreadfully, monstrously, unequivocally lonely. And even when I make it home at eight something, my mum's still at work. I know she has to work long, hard hours to support our family and household, but I still miss her.

To top it all off, I am in near-constant pain. My migraines are getting progressively worse and they keep lasting for longer periods of time, sometimes weeks. I feel dizzy half the time. My chest hurts, as in my heart, and I'm way too young to be experiencing that. I have an appointment on Wednesday to see my doctor, so she can give me a refferal to a neurologist, sleep doctor, allergy doctor, chiropractor, cardiologist, and about a thousand other doctors. Hopefully one of them will figure it out. My mom says its possible I could have fibromyalgia, which is scary/:

Aaaanyways, I just got a whole bunch of clothes/shoes/accessories and I've only posted pictures of the first third of my fashion haul. My camera connector cord is at home, and I still have to take pictures of most of the stuff. I'll try to get some of them up tonight or tomorrow, but for now here's some things I'm hoping to get in within the next couple shopping trips:

• Tailored blazer in blue, black, or yellow.

I like this one the best.

•  Chino pants.

•  A sequin tank top or vneck.

Also, my fantastical mother got me black Christian Serriano oxford-like dress shoes(:

I positively must fix these children breakfast, so farwell.

love, stephaniethegreat.